I went to Circles last night and realized a few things about myself; the good, the bad, and the ugly. This morning I got the two older boys off to school and started looking over old posts on my blog. I read about several stories I totally had forgotten and was so glad I had written them down.
My life is passing me by, and I can't let it go without any documentation. I love the written word. I used to love to write. I used to be such a happy person. I think I've let some of myself die. I don't want that. I want me back. Only I can be the one to make the change -- well, me, and my Savior. I know I need his help.
I need to find the joy in my life. It's almost been a whole year that we've been here in Erda. I need to embrace my life, it is what it is, and love it! I truly have so much to be thankful for. I know that. Now I need to reflect my gratitude in how I live my life. My boys need a mother and my husband needs a wife. I need me!
2 comments:
Sounds like you're in a slump Mindy. It's so hard to being there and finding energy to pull yourself out of it.
I know for me when I'm in a slump, I can feel like the whole world is crashing down on me and that I'm a complete failure in so many areas. And then I worry that my weaknesses are being transferred to my children and they will be scarred for life and have to go to theraphy just to recover. No, I'm not being dramatic. I really feel like that sometimes. Life is so hard sometimes and I get so discouraged just trying so hard, having weaknesses that constantly beset me, and trying to be happy, run a household, be a good wife, serve my husband and not be grumpy or resentful about it... ugh. The list goes on.
But you're right. HE can help us. I wish I knew better how, that I REALLY KNEW how that trickles down into my every thought, and emotion. Oh, I am such an emotional creature. Love it and hate it sometimes. I've found that when I'm working on a few achievalbe goals at a time, that I like myself a whole lot better. I need to paste my goals up on the wall where I can see them everyday and REMEMBER.
I'm sure you know the answers to your struggles. Most of us do. It's just a matter of DOING what we KNOW. We mortals can be so thick headed sometimes. I definitely am. I wish I could "uninstall" of few of my bad habbits, annoying characteristics, and weaknesses.
Don't worry too much Mindy. We'll make it. One step at a time. Here's a quote that's been coming to mind a lot lately for me: "Life by the yard is hard. Life by the inch is a cinch."
So just go tackle today. Take care of tomorrow's "inch" tomorrow.
I love you,
~Amy
I get it. I really do. There have been times that I've looked in the mirror and thought "who is that person? i don't even look like me any more!" True story. Kinda sad.
BUT, this too shall pass, tomorrow is another day, good things come to those that wait, it all be alright in the end...it's just not the end yet, and yada, yada, yada.
So you are in a funk. Now you know and knowings half the battle (GI Joe! Great American Hero!)
Hang in there.
I'm happy your blogging no matter what the reason.
:o)
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